you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
