she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
