I wish I could punch you in the face.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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