I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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