i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
