Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize