Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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