glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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