Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize