one two three fourrrrnication!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
