dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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