he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
