:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
