Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
