So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
