3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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