So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize