direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
