You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
