Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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