I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
