Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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