Your dad touched me again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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