I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
