I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
