I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Damn victory sex feels great
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize