Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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