problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
worst night to have a conscience
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
