I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
