Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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