I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
