Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
