It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
