Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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