So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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