we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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