Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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