North Korea, Best Korea!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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