just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
