Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
