oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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