No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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