if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Actions speak louder than pants.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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