: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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