I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
