Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
