Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
