I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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