I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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