We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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