I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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