watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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