I hope mine doesn't look like that
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
