i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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