my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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