Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I understand Curling. That high.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
