Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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