I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
