with your own penis?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
