you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
