my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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