True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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